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Showing posts from 2012

I'm Learning to Breathe

Wow, it has been a few months since I have blogged. It's honestly probably for the best because honestly, I think my posts would have been nothing but dark and sadness, and that's just not me. Most who have read my Facebook posts until recently have probably picked up that I haven't been my normal upbeat, positive self.

  The transition from Tennessee to Kentucky was a lot harder than I thought. I was very emotional because a lot of reminders of Patrick still surfaced even hours away. When football season started, I was watching the Alabama game at Bdubs, and I just found myself crying at the bar. My heart started breaking all over again because I just couldn't help but think of how much I loved watching football with Patrick and his family. Then, I found out he had already met someone new...I found myself so angry. I was asking God how in the world could a man who told me how I am not good enough be able to find love, and here I was so alone.  On top of that, the m…

Here We Go Again On My Own

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Hellooooooooooooooo Paducah! This week starts off my first week at my new store here in Paducah, Kentucky. For the time being, I am staying at a hotel, and enjoying cable television. I just went grocery shopping today because as awesome as it may sound, eating out two of the three meals a day suuuuuuucks! Not only does it burn a hole in my wallet, but it's burning a hole in my stomach. Ugh!

I am up for a lot of hard work for my store, but I am up for the challenge. I already know I will have nights where I will cry, throw air punches, kick imaginary people, but in the end, it will all be worth it. I have an amazing support system, and I am truly blessed no matter how bad things may seem in my eyes. My career downside is that I am very hard on myself with expectations. That could be a bad thing while I get this store in order...I may have to learn to relax just a little.

One of the many amazing things about my store is that it has a Stay Fit 24! That means I have no freaking excus…

Little Victories

It’s been a couple weeks since I’ve blogged! Tonight, I need to kick off the week with positive energy. My heart has been very heavy for the past few days because of the awful things happening to the good people around me. I have been keeping those who are hurting in my thoughts & prayers every day hoping God will help get them through their grief while having those hurting keep their faith. I know it’s difficult to keep strong in faith when something terrible happens in your life. We don’t understand, and in return, we are angry with God. Believe me, I know. However, God is there to help you get through it, He is there for you to talk to, yell at, or cry to, and love you. I don’t think what has happened is always God’s will as some people state, but I know He is there to help you grieve and heal. Anyways, back to my subject line, little victories! Too often I look at the big picture of my goals thinking I am getting nowhere, and I ignore the little victories I have. For example, …

Home is Where the Heart is...For a Little While

I have been visiting my family and friends in LaPorte since this past Monday. It has been wonderful catching up with them since most of them I haven't seen since May '11. I still feel 7 days is not enough time for a visit since there are still so many people I have yet to see. If you are one of those people, I am so sorry. I will be back in November for Thanksgiving (hopefully) and who knows, maybe my next move will be closer to LaPorte.
  Aside from my nice vacation, I have kept busy with work. I started training another MIT, which I am very excited about. Wednesday we will be organizing and cleaning the store, which will help me tremendously so I can concentrate on training the staff. I am enjoying my time off now because I have a lot of work ahead of me. I have two new hires starting this month, and will be looking to hire a few more.
  At the end of August, I will be moving. Where? I have no idea right now. It honestly can be anywhere. My Regional Manager asked me if I h…

Not losing any sleep, I've picked up every piece, and landed on my feet

Wow...it has been close to two weeks since the break up. Time has really flown by! I think I am doing a good job with keeping myself busy with my job as well as trying to better myself. I grieved the relationship for a good week, and it is now time to pick myself back on and move on.

It's been three days since my last cry. It's hard when I am talking about the why of the break up because of how I perceive it. I still get the heart punches now and then, but it's nothing I can't handle. I think little things will remind me of Patrick, and I will get little heart punches. I just won't let it bring me down.

I should disclaim for Patrick's sake, that I was his first serious girlfriend. I have a thing of having a dating history of guys who have never been in a real relationship. Lucky for them, what has been the case for my exes is the next girl they have met has ended up being who they married. Unlucky for me, I am left brokenhearted and still single. Anyways, my p…

How Did I Read the Stars so Wrong?

Day 2: Don't worry, I am not going to blog each day after this break up. I feel this may be my therapy for awhile so I don't feel like I am repeating myself to every person. I hate breaking down in front of people. I know it's okay too, but I just hate it. I am all smiles, but so far, I am all tears.

I know this break up has come to be a surprise for a lot of my friends and family. Patrick and I rarely fought, we always seemed happy, and I thought this was going to be forever. So what happened? I am sure that when he was telling me how he wasn't happy with me Monday night, I was listening with angry and heartbroken ears. He was ready to start his life, and he felt I was emotionally ready, but everywhere else I wasn't. He didn't want to marry me until I had my college degree which could be five years until that happened...he didn't want to wait that long. Our work schedules never went together, and he doesn't want to be Mr. Mom when we have kids. The way…

Going down down down!

Wow it has been a long time since I have updated! Patrick and I survived the 9 day detox. I lost 12 pounds and he lost 11. We have been on phase 2 since Wednesday which means we can have a little bit of meat, some unsweetened cereal and more oatmeal along with the other foods from detox. As of today, I am down 14.2 pounds. I am feeling great! My urge to pig out has decreased greatly,and I have had little urge to cheat. I have been faced with temptation and kept strong. All in all, I am very proud of me and Patrick. I honestly don't think I could have done it alone. I am blessed to have a supportive man in my life who supports me and helps me get to healthy.
Along with feeling better about myself inside and out, I have felt honored to inspire others. That keeps me motivated to keep going and continue to share my success. I still have a long road ahead but I know I can continue going down down down in weight and up up up in confidence.
For those who are curious about the plan I am…

Time for a Detox!

It has been a while since I have blogged. It was a mixture of being busy with work and being lazy while I was home. When I was done working, I wanted to end the night by doing absolutely nothing, so I did. Now I am wrapping up my third and final day off until Thursday. I figured, it's time to be more productive!
  My weight loss adventure has been up and down. I'd be lying if I said I was tracking EVERYTHING I ate or that I was 100% good. I wasn't. It's been two weeks since I have worked out, and it sucks. I don't get as much of a work out at work because I have to sit whenever I am not showing a customer where a movie is or showing them around the store. All in all, I am stuck in a rut. Therefore, starting tomorrow I am doing Phase 1 of the Fat Smashers Diet which is a nine day long detox. It consists of eating as many fresh fruits and vegetables as I want, drinking all the water I can, limited oatmeal, brown rice, yogurt, egg whites, etc. I did it before a few…

Hello? Can Anyone Hear Me?

Sometimes, I feel invisible to some people that are extremely important to me, and it breaks my heart. How to handle it,  I have no idea. I know I am not the best at responding to calls, messages, etc but I do try. I know we are all busy and have lives, but at the same time, is 5-10 minutes for a quick call too much to ask for?
 I feel so alone sometimes, and I get to a breaking point where I am ready to just move to Spring Hill already so I don't miss out on spending time with friends I have made through Patrick. We started this monthly get together with three other couples, and already I missed out on the first one. I could make a nice list of other events I have missed out on. There just comes a time when you are ready to share your life with the person you love together, in the same area, and I am there.
 On a happier note, I lost 2.6 pounds this past week, making it a total of 9.2 pounds down. I am hoping for the 10 pound mark next week!

Let the Healing Begin!

This week I receied a device to start the healing of my ankle. It's called a bone stimulator, and I get to wear it 10 hours a day! I don't feel anything, but I am worried I am not wearing it right...Imagine trying to put an elbow pad around your ankle. I get to follow up with the doctor in about six weeks to check on the progress.
  I lost 3.8 pounds this past week, and I was very pleased! I am on a good path, and so is Patrick. We even inspired one of his co-workers to join Weight Watchers. It feels good to have that kind of inspiration...it makes me want to keep going so I can keep inspiring. This week, I have had nothing but the munchies, but I've managed to keep on track. I am aiming to workout 5 days this week.
   A couple nights ago, I had a dream with my dad in it. It's been awhile since I've had a  dream with him in it..they feel so real when I do though. It breaks my heart all over again. The only thing I remember in the dream was it took place at a job…

Turning Crap Into Lemonade

The last few days I have been an emotional roller coaster. It really started yesterday...a combination of wanting to spend time with the boyfriend and being reminded how I can sometimes suck at my job. I felt so small yesterday, and today I am just scared.

  Today I went to my ankle doctor to go over my MRI results. Good news: It's no longer a coalition which means chances of surgery have slimmed dramatically. He is going to have the radiologist look at the MRI again just to be sure. What I do have is a bruised bone in my ankle, and there is a lot of stress around that area. In the future I will be getting a bone stimulator, and I have to be in the boot until God knows when. I should be pain free in 6-12 months. I cried...I wanted to complete the Chicago Marathon by my 30th birthday, but I don't even know if I can run at all. When I do heal, I will get shoe inserts to wear at all times. Patrick (my boyfriend) was there to make me smile...at least I will be pain free one day,…

Missing: Motivation

This week's weigh in, I was up 2.8 pounds. I was expecting a gain, but I was still left frustrated. So, I was ready to take the current week head on. I was determmined to track everything, get to the gym for a nice work out stat, and get myself organized. So far, I have failed to do 2 out of the 3. On my days off work, I find myself wanting to do absolutely nothing. I just want to stay in my pj's, watch movies, and snuggle with Bruizer. I need to snap out of it!
 My question to you awesome readers are, what do you do to motivate yourself?
 I guess it's a good thing that I am finishing up the 2nd season of One Tree Hill, and I don't have the 3rd season in my possession yet.

Introducing....me!

Happy New Year to all! I can't believe it is 2012 already...2011 flew by way too fast! I decided to create this blog as this is the year I turn 30, and this is also going to be the year where I find myself in a better, happier place.
  We all say it...every year that we're going to lose weight or get rich or do this or do that. This blog will help me hold myself accountable. I have found that when I share my journey, I keep motivated. Even if times get tough or I am not having a good week, people help me get back on track. So, if you are reading this, and you continue to do so, thank you. It means more to me than you know.
  This is the year that I turn 30...December 1st. There are a few goals that I would like to see accomplished! Some are big, some are small, but I want this year to be the start of happiness. By that, I mean I am happy with ME...my body, my finances, my job, myself.
 First, is my health. All of my life, I have struggled with my weight. It wasn't so bad…