It’s been a couple weeks since I’ve blogged! Tonight, I need to kick off the week with positive energy. My heart has been very heavy for the past few days because of the awful things happening to the good people around me. I have been keeping those who are hurting in my thoughts & prayers every day hoping God will help get them through their grief while having those hurting keep their faith. I know it’s difficult to keep strong in faith when something terrible happens in your life. We don’t understand, and in return, we are angry with God. Believe me, I know. However, God is there to help you get through it, He is there for you to talk to, yell at, or cry to, and love you. I don’t think what has happened is always God’s will as some people state, but I know He is there to help you grieve and heal.
Anyways, back to my subject line, little victories! Too often I look at the big picture of my goals thinking I am getting nowhere, and I ignore the little victories I have. For example, at the checkout at Wal-Mart last week, I was ready to grab some sort of candy that I didn’t really need, but it was just there. I managed to tell myself “No! You’re not even hungry!” I gave myself a mental high five. Getting a snack at the checkout line is a habit. Point for me! On my way to work, I got to listen to a sermon from the church I used to go to with Patrick (hooray for iPhone apps!). I may not get to read the Bible every day, but at least I used my driving time for God. I still have a long way to go in that department. Finally, today, for the first time ever, I went to the movies by myself. I used to think how silly that was because I usually had a friend or a boyfriend to go to the movies with. The Dark Knight Rises came out this weekend (in case you sleep under a rock and wasn’t aware of that), and I really wanted to go see it. I had today off, and figured, why not? I had a lot of fun laughing and crying and sometimes talking to myself. I’ve decided I need to get out more, and I don’t always have to be with someone to do so. I am not going to make new friends by sitting on my couch surfing Facebook all the time, and we all know my track record with meeting people online. I like feeling independent and not needing to have someone with me.
I am one step closer to completely healing from me & Patrick’s break up. I listened to a few songs I have been avoiding for the first time the other night, and I didn’t cry or get a heart punch. I was pleasantly surprised because these were songs I cried to while I was with Patrick because they were so sweet (Five for Fighting “I Just Love You”, Brad Paisley “Then” are just a couple.) We usually danced to these songs together. Not one urge to shed a tear. Also, I was cancelling my match.com account since I have no desire to ever go back on there to find love again, and I got curious…yep, I searched to see if Patrick maybe put himself out there. Sure enough, there was his profile! I admit, I started shaking when I clicked on his pictures…I wasn’t sure how I was going to react or how I should. Thankfully, once again, no urge to cry or heart punches. Little victories.
Me and MyFitnessPal and I are about to become BFF. My friend Ben has been blogging all sorts of different challenges he has done from giving up bad habits to becoming a vegan for a week. It’s honestly very admirable to read about these adventures, and it inspired me. I want to do a challenge that I could actually do and not fail after two days. So, I am going to do the 100 day challenge with him which is pretty much writing everything I consumer and logging when I exercise, and having a daily summary of how I am doing. I will weigh myself once a week just so I don’t get pissed off if I don’t see the numbers going down. This is why Weight Watchers worked, and also when I kicked ass, I could share it and hear/read words of praise and encouragement. I need to get my healthy habits back and stop eating junk. Here’s to the little and big victories over the next 100 days!