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Showing posts from 2013

Sometimes When You Know, You Know. Ya Know?

I tend to take a few months hiatus between posts which is pointless with a blog. I'm supposed to update once a week or something like that, right? Ah well, it's better to leave a few months in between for me because if I wrote an entry once a week, I don't know if I would have much to say! However, this time around, I have some catching up to do (unless you're a friend of mine on Facebook...then you probably are caught up for the most part!)
  So, let's see...ah yes, my dating life that I "put on hold" was my last topic of discussion. I was seeing someone, but it didn't work out. I decided to put myself back on Match.com and Plenty Of Fish just to put myself out there. I wouldn't make an effort to contact someone, but if a guy contacted me that I'd be interested in, then I would respond. Great plan, right? Unfortunately, Plenty Of Fish offered mostly creepers. I went on a couple of dates that didn't become anything. Again, I was okay by …

God Causes All Things To Work Together For Good

To say that God works in mysterious ways is an understatement. My recent struggles in my life have been why God has allowed certain things happen (heartbreak, car accident, Bruizer, rejection, etc.) When I look for a shoulder to lean in, I am told, "All things will work itself out and this hurt will one day make sense." Honestly, I have wanted to just punch a wall every time I heard this. Of course, I was angry and felt like I was being tested in my faith, sanity, and how strong my heart really was. Today, things are starting to make sense. My sister Carrie is right...God was just protecting me.
  Let's start with the heartbreak. From previous blogs, I have mentioned a guy that I talked to, we got together, hit it off, and then he threw me what I now call his "sales pitch" as to why a relationship wouldn't be a good idea. I say sales pitch because that is what he does for a living. A few weeks, he suddenly has a girlfriend he is crazy about. I was furious…

Please Wait While I Put You On Hold, Love Life

It's been a little over a year since Patrick & I broke up, and since then I have had one guy that had a chance to make something happen, and most of you know how that ended up. As time has passed, and my lack of luck in the dating world continues, I found myself down that bitter road. I looked onto other couples with jealousy, looked at people who are ugly on the inside have the happiest life, and I look at me asking the same question, "Why not me?" or "When is it my turn?" I see all of the guys I dated who hurt me and were so awful about it happy with their new girl, and I just am alone. No dates, no guy chasing after me, nothing. The worst part is, I keep telling myself God has a plan for me, and to just be patient. With each passing day, I felt bitter, angry, upset with God. I'd sit in church listening to the message, and last week was about how when life seems to be so difficult, rest assure that it will get better. I just cried. When will it get …

Just This Side of Heaven is a Place Called Rainbow Bridge

Let's see if I can get through this without crying (doubt it) but damn it, my make up looks really good right now, and I honestly don't want to mess it up! I've already had a good cry once today, I am ready to be done with crying to be honest. It is what it is...all part of the grieving process, I know. I just want to feel better.

  This last month have been extremely emotional as most of you already know. Five days after my car accident, I took Bruizer in to have his two front paws declawed & get him updated with his shots as we were getting ready to move up to Indiana. Bruizer still couldn't control his claws well at the time, and this was the best option since my mom has very nice furniture & two other cats who are declawed. Bruizer of course hated the whole car ride, peed in his carrier (thank goodness I was prepared and had the car lined with towels!) and when I got him in, he was still anxious but okay. I filled out the paper work, gave him a kiss, told…

Bruised but Not Broken

I am ready for April to be over to be honest. Only three days of this month is left, and I am so excited for May to be here. Not only have I been hurt, but friends & family that I love and care about have been hurting. I hate seeing those I love cry or feel heartbreak. I just hope May brings a lot more sunshine in our lives.
  The boy who made me smile a few months ago, managed to make me cry. I think I am more mad at myself for allowing him to hurt me or think that he was a decent guy. He proved to me otherwise. The one thing I really don't like is being lied to or being fed BS to avoid hurting me. When he decided not to pursue a relationship with me, he kept saying how he likes me and it's just his job. How this decision was really hard for him but he didn't want us to fail and burn bridges with me if there was a chance for us in the future. We talked off and on afterwards, but not as much. I don't hear from him for a couple weeks, and I decide maybe it's j…

Someday Soon, I'll Find You. Someday Soon, I'll Know You.

It's been almost three months since my latest entry. Believe it or not a lot has happened! I took a two month leave from Facebook. I felt myself going back to the dark feelings of jealousy and resentment. I LOVE seeing updates from people who I've known for years. We're all at that age where people are getting married, having kids, getting engaged, etc. Then, there is me...30 and single with zero dates since Patrick and I broke up. Hell, I haven't even been asked out on an actual date. It kind of kills the confidence. So, I needed a break to really focus on me. A lot of good came of it especially with my health. I even got to feel butterflies again, smile, and blush like a little school girl.

First, let's start with my health. I started back up on Weight Watchers, and I got into a routine of working out. So far, it has really paid off. I have lost 34.8 pounds, I am looking good, I am feeling good, and it's just an all around good feeling. My ankle isn't hur…

Happy New Year!

2013 is here, and I honestly am so excited about the new year! I feel there are going to be a lot of changes in my life, and I am ready to embrace them.

For starters, and my friend Megan will be so proud of me, I got on my Facebook, and I deleted anything associated with Patrick. The best part, I didn't shed one tear. It's time to really let go. I heard from his parents over Christmas. They sent me a card with a really sweet letter wishing me the best & letting me know that they were thinking of me, especially since both of our football teams are playing in the championship game. I held onto that letter until yesterday, when I decided to throw it away. Its time to officially move on from this. It's been seven months, he has moved on, and now, I can say that I am.

Next, I am going to go gazelle with my money. My plan is to have ankle surgery when I move in September, which means I will be out of work for at least 6-8 weeks. That means, no income during that time so it…