Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Someday Soon, I'll Find You. Someday Soon, I'll Know You.

It's been almost three months since my latest entry. Believe it or not a lot has happened! I took a two month leave from Facebook. I felt myself going back to the dark feelings of jealousy and resentment. I LOVE seeing updates from people who I've known for years. We're all at that age where people are getting married, having kids, getting engaged, etc. Then, there is me...30 and single with zero dates since Patrick and I broke up. Hell, I haven't even been asked out on an actual date. It kind of kills the confidence. So, I needed a break to really focus on me. A lot of good came of it especially with my health. I even got to feel butterflies again, smile, and blush like a little school girl.

First, let's start with my health. I started back up on Weight Watchers, and I got into a routine of working out. So far, it has really paid off. I have lost 34.8 pounds, I am looking good, I am feeling good, and it's just an all around good feeling. My ankle isn't hurting as bad which helps my daily life. I don't feel as constricted with what I do every day. Maybe one day I can find myself running on the treadmill again :)

Ah, butterflies. To have that feeling again was amazing. Not only was it nice to talk to a guy that makes me smile, but to know I am capable of having that feeling again is refreshing. A few friends and family know the reason behind this. A guy I went to high school with and I started talking, and we ended up liking who we were getting to know. He sent me roses on Valentine's Day, was so sweet, and made me feel beautiful. He came and visited me, and we hit it off really well. I was excited to see what the future had in store. Unfortunately, it wasn't much. He has a job that demands a lot of his time and requires a lot of traveling far away, so to try to start a relationship wasn't a good idea. So, we've decided to stay friends. I won't lie, I was really bummed. I thought things were falling into place, but in the end, a lot of things unfolded that would work against us. Hey, I gained a new friend, so not all is lost, right?

I try to keep optimistic about my dating life, or lack there of. Someday, maybe I will have my cinematic moment where a guy sees me, and instantly knows he just has to have me. Or, if he tries to let me go, realizes he is a freaking idiot and turns right around. I don't know...I keep praying about it, and I really just need to focus on my relationship with God. He has a plan, and I just need to trust Him. Yes, I keep telling myself this because I am just ready to share my life with someone. Life's a happy song, when there is someone by your side to sing along. (yes, that is from the Muppets.)

I got to visit my family in Indiana for a weekend. I got to meet my friend Jennifer's beautiful baby girl Kennedy, hang out with my sister Carrie & boys, and my mom & step-dad. I realized how ready I am to be home. So, with that being said, I am happy to share that next month, I will be moving back to LaPorte! I am really excited! I just can't wait to be close to my family & friends again. This is just what I need...to surround myself with love and positive vibes. Plus, I will have support all around, which is what I lack in Paducah. When I have a bad week, which the last couple of weeks have been rough, I have been alone. I have cried my eyes out with Bruizer on my lap, and it's just not the same. I need people on my side, who want to see me succeed in whatever I do, and I have one person here. I'm going to miss her like crazy.

That sums it up about what's been going on with me. My next blog entry will probably be when I am back in Indiana. Yay!

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